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Alternative Girlfriend
Words & Music by Stephen Duffy & Steven Page

You're in an all-girl band
Your futon's second hand
Your parents understand but you don't care
I have a job in a shop
I'm an undercover cop
I make sure the customers aren't thieves
Old at being young
Young at being old
Everything's on hold within our evolution

Chorus:
You're my alternative girlfriend
I love you, and now you cannot pretend
There's nothing left that won't cross over

Last night we slept on the lawn
you woke up and I was gone
Back to the dream I dream to leave
My life with her is a bore
A worn-out metaphor
No more surprises up its sleeve
We're old at being young
Young at being old
Everything's been sold to other's revolutions

Chorus

You live above your dad's four-car garage
With your vinyl and imaginary entourage
If I pull up in a U-Haul, pack up quick
So we can get out of this town 'cause it makes me sick

Chorus

Back to Sing It

From Maybe You Should Drive ©Barenaked Ladies 1994
Released August 1994. Alternative Girlfriend was released as a single in 1995 and has appeared many times as a live recording or as a b-side. Rumour has it that the girlfriend in the video is actually Kevin Hearn in drag...
Ed Robertson: acoustic guitar, background vocals
Andrew Creeggan: electric piano, organ, tambourine
Tyler Stewart: Drums
Jim Creeggan: electric bass, background vocals
Steven Page: lead vocal, electric guitar